Book Review: Steve Almond’s (Not that You Asked)

by dan heaton

Over the years, I’ve become obsessed with my share of random movies, TV shows, quirky authors and other goofy pop-culture areas. Writer Steve Almond has made his career describing his fixations on candy, ‘80s heavy metal, and more oddball topics. (Not that You Asked) is filled with these types of rants about a wide-ranging selection of entertaining subjects. Almond opens with a series of fake letters sent to Oprah asking for this book’s entry into her Book Club. The messages begin as professional correspondence and slowly drift into raging tirades. Almond’s brand of humor will fly over the heads of some readers who don’t get the joke, but it should also charm pop-culture fans who share his obsessive, in-depth look at the arts and living.

Divided into eight sections, this collection of essays contains some hilarious moments and only slows during a few pieces that drag on too long. “Why I Crush on Vonnegut” is one of the highlights, especially with Almond’s description of a strangely composed literary panel. Pairing the cranky Vonnegut with two less-cynical popular authors reveals some interesting thoughts about the revered author as an older man. This entry does last a bit too long, but it offers a memorable personal look at Vonnegut’s effect on the writer. One of the silliest entries is “How Reality TV Ate My Life,” which covers Almond’s surreal experience filming a VH1 reality show displaying his love of candy. I would consider this piece too ridiculous to believe, but having seen awful series like Flavor of Love and I Love New York thrive on that network, nothing surprises me anymore. Another favorite for me was “Tesla Matters (Dude)”, which describes Almond’s love of hair bands, particularly Tesla. For some reason I love hearing adults recount their adoration for ‘80s heavy metal, particularly Chuck Klosterman’s Fargo Rock City. The lack of cynicism in this short piece works perfectly and makes it a memorable essay.

Most of Almond’s writing in this book falls on the light-hearted side, which might not work if you’re looking for a deeper non-fiction experience. However, the discussions rarely shift into completely inane territory. The final section “How I Became a Baby Daddy” does bring some poignancy to the craziness involved with an unplanned pregnancy. We’re not talking highly emotional, tear-jerker territory, but Almond does craft an interesting look at the entire process. I really enjoyed “10 Ways I Killed My Daughter Within Her First 72 Hours of Life,” which nicely captures how a baby’ fragility can freak out new parents. Like most of (Not That You Asked), this story is quick, enjoyable reading that should please anyone who’s a bit more neurotic than the average human being.